Do you get fed up with messages that hold out a promise of finding true happiness? I sure do. I especially object to those that claim a unique pathway to happiness that they are only too willing to share for a fee.

There is no formula for happiness. If you’re looking for one, give up. Anyone who claims to know how to capture happiness is trying to fool you and possibly fooling themselves.

While there are many ways to behave that can lead to feeling happy, the pursuit of happy feelings is inevitably doomed, because happiness is a by-product of being aligned and in harmony with what matters most to you. Do what matters to you with people you love and you’ll feel pretty good. But happiness doesn’t work as a goal.

Spend your time on what you care about and share yourself with people you care for. You will feel more content than if you dislike your work and your colleagues. Sounds pretty obvious, doesn’t it? If you can put a positive spin on setbacks and bounce back from adversity, you will return to emotional equilibrium more quickly than if you ruminate on failure.

If happiness is something you seek, something you do not have now, think of it as a long-term project rather than seeking immediate gratification. Generate happier moments by living in alignment with your priorities, what matters most to you. Do this often and you’ll build some momentum. Don’t lie to yourself when times of sadness, grief, anger and fear occur. They are part of the emotional system too.

Whatever you do, don’t get sucked in by false promises of a happier life. Nobody can make you feel happier but yourself.

What are you waiting for?