This time of year is supposed to be joyful. And it is, sort of. But not for everyone and certainly not all the time.

There are many reasons.  Central to all of them is the fact that feelings are our emotional system’s response to what’s going on in life at any given moment. How we feel right now has everything to do with what’s happening inside and around us and almost nothing to do with how we might like to feel. Our sense of harmony with our surroundings and the people in it changes moment to moment, and feelings follow. Nobody gets to have it exactly the way he or she wants all the time.

If this holiday season doesn’t feel as merry as you think it should, try putting your attention on some part of the events or some person you really do love and appreciate. Direct your awareness to something that really is harmonious, even if you have to ignore most everything and everybody else.

It’s perfectly normal to feel mixed feelings around traditional events and festivities. After the holidays are over you’ll be able to go back to the life you have created for yourself, which hopefully is more fully satisfying.